I struggle hard with body image and self love and I’m sure most women can relate to that. I have always felt bigger than most people my age even when I was in elementary and middle school. Looking back now, I honestly wish I could be the size I was back then. Even in high school! I wore a size large and would cry that I did because I couldn’t share tops with friends since they were must smaller than me. Now that I’m older I understand the reason why was because my breast were significantly larger than most girls my age. At the time, it had nothing to do with my weight but I felt like it did.
Add in the fact that my then boyfriend during high school would tell me constantly how huge I was and compare me to thousands of other women. Hello emotional and mental abuse. After I left him, I went on to date quite a few men who didn’t love my body for the way it looked. They would always make a comment on how I could stand to lose a few pounds. I never felt comfortable in my own skin and some days I still don’t.
My husband has been the one man in my life who doesn’t sit there and make me feel like I need to be smaller than I am. He’s loved me at my heaviest, pregnant with our babies and he’s loved me while I fight to look a certain way.
Recently though, I have suddenly become okay with the fact that I most likely will never weigh 135 lbs again. I’m 30 now and things don’t happen the way they used to. Weight don’t just fly off anymore and I have to work a bit harder than I would like. But, I want to set an example for my girls.
So, while I don’t feel like I weigh the amount I want to right now, I still walked into Target the other day in a crop top and jeans feeling like a total can of busted biscuits. I walked by a mirror in the women’s section and that body image voice crept into my head but, I said (out loud I might add) “wear the damn crop top Kimberly” and walked away. So I did just that. I wore the damn crop top and I felt good.
So wear the damn crop top ladies. Wear the shorts. Buy the clothes you wanna buy and love the body you are in. We don’t get another one so we have to take care and love the one we do have. Mine has given me three beautiful babies and has some scars but, it’s all made me who I am.